My Love affair with Wine

I was so in love with wine...I loved everything about it.  The taste, the way the wine glass felt in my hands, the way I immediately felt after having my first sip.  Giving it up has been a struggle that has taken quite a few years.  This is not to say I don't enjoy a glass every now and then.  I'm talking about the obsessive-excessive love affair I had with wine.   And until about a year ago or so I had still been struggling with looking back and feeling like I'm still missing parts of my old life.  My career part, living the fast high life of a Super City Girl.  The designer clothes, the constant traveling, mostly for pleasure, and the drinking.  Ah yes the drinking.  I think I missed that most of all.   My life was like a television show.  Always a drink in hand.  I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic.  I was working and getting up and I certainly didn't look like an alcoholic.  Or did I?  I guess that would've depended on who I asked.  I did crave a drink when I got out of work. I certainly drank alone at home,  while cooking,  getting ready to go out, who didn't?  Could I stop drinking after 1 or 2 drinks?  I guess but I surely didn't want to.  These are some of the questions I found to ask yourself to determine if indeed you had a drinking problem.  Having a drink usually also gave me super powers.  I wasn't so shy anymore.  A little more boldness under my belt. Now I don't want to paint the wrong picture.  I wasn't dragging on the floor all out drunk.  Or in the street begging for my next drink.  Or strung out binge drinking for days.  Because that is true alcoholism, isn't it?  I was functioning and feeling quite beautiful and glamorous too.  Hmmm.  There was always an exciting VIP party to go to.  Hanging at the same parties with celebrities.  How cool was I?   I kept forgetting how empty and miserable I felt the next morning.  Seriously the next morning as I went to work sometimes still a little hung over, or foggy and not clearly focused.  Pretending I was so happy and my life was so great but deep inside anticipating when I was going to have my next drink and enter that other life again.

 How did He notice me?  Why did His mercy extend to me?  This I will never know.  I've done for some years now what the Israelites did as Moses was leading them to the promised land.  Looking back to the time they were slaves in Egypt.  Thinking things were so much better then.  My Egypt was Manhattan and the life I had then.  Because in this Christian life there are still struggles and of course at the first sign of them you're thinking "My life was so much better back then".  But it wasn't.  God had mercy on me and I can now see how blind I was.  How blessed I now am.  I feel I am truly living now and not just going through the motions.  My priorities are in the right place now.  I know what's important and that means the world to me.  I still have struggles.  We all do.  But drinking never solved any of them.  I don't even like to get into how unhealthy this lifestyle was for me.  Did my excessive drinking play a factor in my getting cancer.  Drinking certainly does with other diseases too.  Excessive drinking has been linked to Alzheimer, Liver disease, Cancer and Cardiovascular disease, to name a few.   And how about the long term damage you're doing to your body now that's not going to show up for some years...sigh.  Now I know and have read about how healthy drinking red wine can be providing antioxidants and resveratrol.  I think they are talking about only a glass.  And even then the wine should be organic which doesn't contain harmful sulfates.  The grapes the wine is made from don't contain pesticides, and the soil free of chemicals.   Now organic grapes, raw peanuts, organic blueberries. dark chocolate also contain resveratrol, some of them double the amount.   Something to think about.  I am always so full of emotion every Sunday morning at church.  "Thank you Lord I am here this morning and not hung over wasting another Sunday recovering from last night's partying".    I think about this every Sunday morning.  Every Sunday morning.  And the truth is that His mercy extends to all of us.  If we would just listen.  We can call out to Him at anytime.  When you feel you've reached the limit.  Like I did one night.  And He will respond.  The peace and joy I can feel inside on an ordinary day compares to nothing else.  This may not be your story but it is my story.  So here it is for the world to hear.  And like any addictive personality I have replaced wine with good tea.  But that's another story!   He reached down from on high and took hold of me;  He drew me out of deep waters.  (Psalms 18:16)

Some helpful links for more info:
http://alcoholism.about.com
http://www.heart.org
http://scienceblog.cancerresearch